evilCozPoetry

Cool Guyz Goddess

By Clive aka evilC yB

John was a pretty cool guy

 I used to think, Hey! So am I...

But any more I just don't know?

Hey! There goes Joe, He will always be cool! I say: "Hey Joe! How are things going man?" Joe says: "It's cool man, it's cool..." See! I told you!

It seems as if in these latter days,

My coolness is vanishing in the haze...

 I have been Knocking at the door of death it self,

Knock, knock, knock... "Come on man it's me, 'evilC', answer the fucking door"

 "Evil Who?"

 "It's me man, evilC, E. V. I. L. C." Knock, knock, mOTHER fUCKING kNOCK already "Come on man, answer your God Damned Mother Fucking Door"

"Evil’s not here"

 Knock, knock. "No I am evilC you idiot"

 "WHO?"

And it is really quite amazing,

You get the picture! Nobody is answering...

You know, like I was expecting like the hand of doom or something? To open up his God Damned door and whip me in with his shit-hook looking sickle   My cell is anemic and mobile.

Bulimia Nervosa, Everyone is getting on the bored thin train and then pulling down the barf bag on Des Plaines... Look Boss! How many times do I have to tell you? But I've got the crystal ball...

I just lay on the bed with the TV on and stare at the ceiling. Oh how! I beg for death to come and get me. When I do eat and try to make myself puke, I can't vomit no matter how hard I try. So it’s back to bed and ceiling. Ceilings, nothing more ceilings, trying to forfeit my, ceilings above... Oh I wish this feeling would stop, go away, I want to go home...

I know especially for the feminine, of the species. Auditory sensations and not looking back seem to be the norm for em'. You know? Like they just took some metaphysical crap ___ I mean... Class... For six months and 1500 Simoleons, (You know. Those people from Bill Gates Northwest, Not only make promises they don’t keep, and products they can’t stand behind... Their also out stomping on their Semillon Grapes of Wrath, for a mere 5 clams a bottle. They must have some serious esteem and self worth issues? Hell as dead as I feel, and wish I was...

I am Clive!

And I still wouldn't give up even one of me, for a PhD... Well Maybe 1? But what a sacrifice!) they get a PhD! (And then call them selves Dr.) Dr. Please. That takes the average man of any accredited color 8-10 years. And then, when, say its been, maybe a month since you last talked to them... And you, (And By you, I mean me!) want to talk... So you call! And they, (And By they, I mean she or her) say that: "They have changed so much that they are not the same person anymore." I could go along with that, if they changed the m to n, in-same.

During her brief but extensive study, she was kind of excited once. (That was probably the problem? Everyone needs a little excitement in their life.) She told me that one of the deaf ears listening... No I mean! Definitions of "Metaphysics", or "Metaphysical", was: "If you believe in (Peter Pan) it, then it is there, and if you don't, then it is not." I immediately come back with: (instead of thinking about her feelings and ceilings and nothing more than ceilings trying to forget my ceilings above 1st). "Well you had better get a good Mal Practice policy then!" It seemed logical! If she was going to use this new film flam degree to practice New Age Medicine... And all of the sudden one of her patients changed their mind into not believing.

I had better not go and tie one on!

Don't you have the same DNA for the duration?

Or

Is there some proclamation?

That you can Emancipate yourself from when you Decide that you are completely Different?

I have always been Different!

So Just when I thought I was at my lowest low,

And

Crossing the Threshold to hell below...

I began to hear things...

Demons maybe?

Coming to get me, because that dumb ass death dude was just to fucking lazy to open his door of doom, and come get my tired and sorry ass out of bed...

No Shit!

There have been real, honest to goodness voices! I used to joke about these said voices, to some of my friends, regarding my step-Mother hearing them... As I did not believe they actually existed.

These voices I hear don't tell me to do things like kill myself...

No...

Instead They Make me wish for death... Just like I have been all along. But now, its even more irritating, annoying, and down right bothersome. Leaving me agitated and troubled to the point of teetering on the other side of the hallucinatory line.

And I don’t have friends to joke with Anymore.

Because it is not funny.

I am so lonely...

And the happy and or understanding Life that these voices live... Belong to actual living people, that I know and Love... But whom do not Necessarily

RECIPROCATE

So after trying to be dead, To no avail

Maybe I need a date?

Or

To get hit on the head with some hail...

Basketball size, And the diaries of,

Mr. Jim Carroll

The Catholic Boy; 

Who, With no friends either!

Why?

Because they all died!

Died!

I too shot up at a very young age,

And I don't mean like a weed...

Although that is the seed, I used to plant.

Even though it is supposed to grow wild!

That is kind of what I have done...

And all of that used to seem so beat and cool!

Nothing more than a damned fool...

Day after day, alone on a hill, I haven’t got a cute little grin, but I got plenty fucking of bills...

 None of which are getting paid,

And it all seems, Just Because I'm not getting laid...

So if they’re really is a cool guyz goddess?

Out there somewhere, anywhere...

There sure are a lot of us, Who are real...

We just want, and need our prayers answered.

For me, us, and them,

I say all these things as I humble myself on bended knees,

Amen.

So we can be, just who we will be.

K say raw, can you say raw?

May we want To Be

And or

Not, not to Be

So there is no question

And Again,

A-Men.

Let me say it again my friends!

There are a lot of us X-cool Guyz,

Who really want and need our Cool Guys Goddesses!

So then we too, Can Be Cool Guy Gods to you!

A-men,

No more agains!

The end.

Ah ha ha!

Fooling you babe, and ohhh ohhhh ohhh, where ever we go! You got my hands tied,

By the wings of Love.

And above in the night,

The light from the heavens,

Reflected,

And the sight Of a Cool Guyz Goddess, with her Cool Guy God By her side, as they reign ore' Their World, so troubled and free...

Stepping into the platinum Chariot of the Gods on fire, riding down the streets paved with gold, oh what a sight to behold, as they were invisible, invincible too!

Deciding what to do, about,

This middle aged man who had his prayer heard,

Cool Guy God's favorite bird had landed on his finger, trotted up his arm, to rest on his shoulder, and whispered in his ear. "What?" as he dipped his head and raised his hand to hear. "Oh ho ho ho yeah! That’s a good one my little friend" and then, to bend the other way, to face his Cool Guyz Goddess, he does say."_" She nods and winks as they embrace in a kiss, that opens the skies...

Lightning bolts fly and strike.

Thunder roars simultaneously with blinding bluish white light...

Not long after the gift was given, all of the girls who were livin'.

Could be, a Cool Guyz Goddess to me,

And for all of you others, that were heard in my prayer too!

But I see that it could be an eternity,

before it actually happens for me,

since they did not drop her here naked, by parachute, right into my lap...

But I think as the clouds clear, so will my mind?

And then I will find, that Cool Guyz Goddess, tailor made for me!

Fuck you!

You dumb ass Death Dude, with your shit-hook looking sickle, you had your chance and you blew it...

"Who?"

Bill Gates! The little Children of Tobias, Nebraska, still don’t have a computer at their educational disposal, in the local library…